Thursday 22 August 2013

The Name Game

Have you ever wondered as to how you got your name ? Most of us are told about it by our parents when we enter school while some of us don't care to know! Trust me, I was one among the latter cause I never found anything special about my name. It has two syllables and mean "evening" unlike something like "intelligent", "beautiful" or "lovable". I remember asking my mom (as a child , of course) as to why I was not named "Telula" or "Shelly".  She looked at me bewildered and simply said:" They are not Indian". Then after a few days I went back to her and this time I put forth three Indian names; Kritika, Sakshi and Ananya (who happened to be the "superest" girls in my batch I spoke about in my previous post). She gave me a soft knowing smile and simply said : " Because they are not YOU."
I was too young to follow that statement back then. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked away , something I usually did when my parents started to talk Greek and Latin.Later I realised what exactly was the crux of what she wanted to convey: It's not the person's name that defines her (or him) but the person who defines the name. If you read it twice and understand the statement it makes absolute sense and has a nice moral and philosophical connotation to it. However, I know that a number of people would disagree to it.
Recently,in college I was speaking to a group of my friends in the corridor. That's when another student from a different batch joined in to greet me. I began the formal procedure of introducing my fellow mates to the new entrant. While I pointed out at the last one in my group as Raveena, she raised her eyebrows and exclaimed "Oooo.. Raveena Tandon?" referring to an eminent Bollywood star, and burst into a fit of laughter. My friend just shrugged and smiled weakly. She later told us, how much she has started to abhor her name since her entire school life went in smiling back for the hackneyed joke that was repeatedly cracked by her peers. Now here, this girl is repeatedly being associated with the name that has derived its identity through someone else. How cool is that? Let me answer it. It's not and you don't want that happening to you!
Talking of names and Identities , we cannot miss out on the nicknames that one is given in all phases of life. Starting from home to junior school, middle-school, high school , university, workplace and so on , if you look back you will realise that there is practically an entire collection of names that were once associated with you. I personally have lost count of the different kinds of nick-names that were given to me : Sandu, Guddu,San, Sans, Chutki , Bubli , Baby , Pikachu (no comments) , Sriram and Sandy being the most common of all. Nick-names are given to evolve a private, convivial space between you that person. It is given out of fondness and affection. It carries with itself a sense of attachment. Am I right? Nope, there will still be people who would disagree with me.
My another friend from college, Nilofer , happened to share her experience with me this evening. A name that was so well thought of, Nilofer- The one with blue or beautiful eyes (and quite apt for her, I must say), was conveniently altered by her school mates to just the second syllable. Lofer , a common term used for road-side roughs, has become so much a part of her daily hearing that now she automatically responds to the call , without any show of irritation or annoyance. I am not going to be a moralistic preacher and say what they did was wrong, since I have had my own share of fun changing mahiya to mafia and Kiron to Moron. However, I can sympathise with her; and in many ways empathise too.
Well now this is the Name Game as I would like to put it. If you are not happy with your name , as was my case as a child, look around and you will know that you are in a much better position than many others. Despite the pre-formed identity and the unreasonable alterations made to your name, in some way or the other you still tend to define it. I will not be able to accept Raveena or Nilofer under any other names now. Because that is what they have done, provide a meaning to their names ; something so unique that each time anyone utters their names in their absence, their closest friends can't help but think of them and ONLY them.
And that is what matters, won't you agree?

Wednesday 21 August 2013

Pause Please?

"I am in a hurry! May I catch up with you later?"
Why ask when you are actually not giving me a choice? What if I said no? What if I said  "You can't hang up" ?
When I was six, my best friend came over to my place a day prior to friendship day. That was when we were introduced to the concept of friendship bands. The one who has received the maximum number of friendship bands in school would be called the "Most Superest girl" . Hearts were broken on the so called judgement day, tears were shed by the people who could not live up to the prestigious title. My best friend just walked up to me and said this:
 "This one is for you. There maybe many who may tie you this tomorrow. But I want to give you one today. Cause even if you win the title, I want you to remember that it was ME who gave you the first one. I want you to remember me , forever. " 
Even in the age of six when we did not know much about emotions, sentiments and true friendship, those words did not fail to touch me; even more since I was moving out of the city , the following month, forever. It has been almost fifteen years since that day and I have moved from city to city, school to school, but am still in touch with her. This was possible cause not once did she ask me whether she could "catch me later".

Why is it important to pause? Well this is why. Most of our life is categorized into two time-tables. The one that we create (and seldom follow) and the one that we are forced into. Hence we start our day's engine with the first task in our list and keep moving at an accelerating speed, our capacity to work increasing arithmetically  while our work load increasing geometrically. One fine day the engine runs out of energy supply and we collapse . "My Life is  Ruined!" . Now if we take a few steps back in time and see where we went wrong, we will have no one but ourselves to blame. The consequences of an over-worked brain can leave its scars not just in one's academic performance or career, but also in one's relationships and health! 

This is when the question arises; how does one pause? If I am to answer this, I would say that pausing is anything that is done away from your time-table. Pausing is picking up the phone and speaking to a friend you have not caught up with for a long time now. Pausing is watching cartoons for a while instead of the daily sitcoms and probably laugh at how you could be so adorably silly to like them as a child. Pausing is rummaging the old photo albums for  those embarrassing pictures of you or just simply smiling back as your childhood smiles back at you. Pausing is cleaning your cupboard (trust me it works) and finding those old forgotten things that you had once held close to your heart. Pausing is simply the simplest task of all; standing in your balcony, giving yourself the credit for having grown into this awesome person you are today and feeling alive.

So next time your  friend calls up try asking yourself if you really need to hang up or is this call a reminder for you to pause. Because indeed it is things like these that last forever.

The Stranger

She walked up to the girl who was holding a marigold by the school garden. "May I?" she smiled with just her eyes, her lips seale...