Love- A Perception!

It was a gloomy January night. I was walking by the bay with my best friend as he continued to brag about his brand new purchase.
"You should consider coming for a drive with me."
"You should consider getting over yourself."
"Uff. And YOU should consider stopping this bitterness. Why so much jealousy?" He nudged playfully.
Yes, it was true. I was jealous. I like how he always knows what is going on in my mind (even if it is something pathetic) and still tries to diffuse the situation with one of his lame, 'almost there' kind of jokes.
"Nah. Not jealous", I smiled. "I am happy for you. You deserve it bro."
"Did you just bro-zone me? Remember the deal we had? We shouldn't be doing that!"

I laughed and pulled him along to the other side of the park. Casual flirting was something I strongly loved about our friendship. Doing just too well for himself in life, Nikhil came across as the most humble person I know. Humble. Not modest. Well, but I guess most of the times he does it just to annoy me. And it works. 

"Did I tell you about the leather seating?"
"Thrice"
"And the colour of the seat covers?"
"I'll tell you what? Why don't we just go over to your place after this and then I can have a look at it. Once and for all!"
He broke into fits of laughter. 

I stopped walking and waited for him to finish.
"How is your book coming along?" he asked me on a rather serious note.

"It is going good. Actually I sent the first part for proof-reading and..."
"You have seriously written 425 pages on 'love' ? "

"Um. Haven't you been seeing someone for the past two years?"
"So now you are judging me?"
"No. no! I am not. What's your point?"
"I don't know. To me, love is something that should be expressed. Not written about or sung about. It is something... personal."
"Writing is a form of expression"
"For the whole world to read it? I mean, just because you have had a beautiful love life why go ahead and announce it. Imagine thousands of people who will be reading and wondering Wow! So this is how it would be.. And then when they actually find love, they will be like... Um. Okay. That's not right."

"Subjective experiences Nik. Everyone knows that there is no blue-print. Everyone's got their own share of..."
"What if it doesn't happen. What if there are people who never find love?!"
"Why would that happen?"
"Oh please, Yana! Think about it. What is the guarantee that your readers are going to find their true love. What if they end up being forced to get married to someone they don't love. What if they never find the girl or guy they had always pictured in their mind.. Or worse. What if they are subjected to unrequited love. Do you know how much pain you are spreading by your happy stories?" 

I din't say anything. I walked by him for a while, staring deep into the distance. It was like meditation. Meditation by the bay. 

"What is love, Nikhil?" I asked him, softly.
"Seriously?! You are SERIOUSLY asking ME that? I am not in for such discussions."
"Want to know my opinion?"
"Nope."
"To me love is..."
"I said no."
"...Meditation"

"Okay What."
"I was in ninth grade when I had my first crush"
"Hah! That's pretty late! When I was..."
"Two months later he sexually abused me in the school bus."
He stopped walking. I walked on for a while till I found a bench to sit. I heard him move behind me after a couple of seconds.
"Nikhil, you know the power of love? You can never have enough of it. You will never wake up one day and say- That's it! I am not going to love anymore. Sometimes you might feel like.. That's it. It is not worth it. That is your mind speaking. But your heart's still beating."
"What happened to that guy?"
"What?"
"Did he get run over by a  truck?"
"What? No..!!" I laughed. "That afternoon I was defenceless. Not because I was a 'young teenager unaware of the evil world'. Because I was a teenager in love who never thought evil could exist. When in love, the world looks so pure that..."
"Stop that Bullshit! So this is what you want to propagate through your books? Love is so pure that the purity gives you the power to take crap from people????" 

"Love is so pure that it helps to cleanse the taints of your past."
He was silent. This is the first time since I have known him he looked so worked up.
"He was expelled from school. Within a week. I din't take the crap, you see!"
It was hard to tell who he was mad at. Me, the guy or the concept of 'love'.
"I even wrote a poem for the school magazine voicing my experience.. 'Amuse or Abuse?' ..  I personified sexual abus..."
He threw his arm around me with a soft smile on his face. "I love you".
"Finally, you mustered some courage to say that."
"Haha. Yeah yeah, very funny! "
"See! This is what I am saying. We always find love ultimately. In some form or the other. And when you finally do.. these harsh memories.. none of these matter. Life has a way of giving things to you." 

"Well, I don't know."
"How many break-ups did you have before you finally found Sarah two years back?"
"That does not matter."
"See!"
"No. It does not matter cause I never allowed myself to get so attached to someone that walking away from her would be something that may bring about 'pain'"
"Ah! You are a rational lover."
"You can say that."
"You are pathetic."
"You can say that, too."
"What if I spill coke on the grey seat covers of your car?"
"I will bash you down. I am not kidding."
"Be rational Nikhil. It is just a seat-cover. Ek jayega, Doosra aayega. (One can be replaced by another)"

He smiled. "Since when did you get this smart?"
"It is worse when you sit and watch people walk out of your life and do nothing about it just because you want to be rational."
He shrugged. 

We walked on for a few more minutes. This time he was staring into the distance.
"I like that line you said- love is so pure that it cleanses the taints of your past?"
"My original line!"
"Yeah sure!"
"Hey! Of course it is original!"
"Do you think every person in this world will find love? Like EVERY person?"
"I think every person in this world DESERVES to find love."
"And you say the power of love is such that..."
"Let's call it Strength. Not Power. Power sounds too authoritative. Love does not come with authority."
He nodded his head frantically as we walked out of the park.
"You are frustrating."
"So is love"
He looked at me.
"You are brilliant", he laughed, almost not wanting to admit it.
"So...Is love."